Who hasn't experienced the emotional recklessness of a failed relationship? More importantly, how do we find the vigor to pick up the pieces and continue on with our existence? Unfortunately, what often becomes compromised in between such a dark and bleak moment is our maturity level. I know you wouldn't believe it, but even someone as mature and level-headed as myself, has had her moments of desperation and emotional pandemonium. Many times I questioned my own sanity in the midst of this infamous relationship that I would regard as unhealthy and turbulent. Finding myself in a much better place now, I often reminisce on my actions as well as those of my former partner's. The reality is, we both should have dissolved our association, many moons ago. Although, there was once a time filled with bliss and joy, the reality was that it would never be that again; regardless of the considerable effort on both of our parts. Our attempt(s) to resolve the issues that greatly afflicted us, only led us to an obscure and grim place that will forever haunt me. I guess I always thought he was my Mr. Big (gasp)!
As my super clever friend said to me once (jb) : "just remove yourself from the situation." I will live by these words moving forward. It can be easy to lose focus on your values and beliefs, for the sake of pleasing someone else's. Essentially, I realized, how being honest with myself and my partner about my expectations (which i take full responsibility for lacking) is the only way to go. In addition, I realized that I shouldn't have to work so hard to make a relationship work or I shouldn't have to sacrifice who I am and what my values are for someone who should respect me and cherish me for those same values. I never want to be in that dark place again. Sometimes its not meant to be, but it does not mean things should end in a spiteful and disrespectful manner....
To letting go and being true to myself again....
Truly Yours,
CurlyHairGirl
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